I remember waking up that day, after the towers were hit and me fearing the worst and hoping we would all find a way out of this. And while the horror of watching the events unfold over and over again on cable news was enough to give anyone some sort of stress disorder, I like to think of that day as the moment that my life took on a deeper meaning. I realized that day, after watching people fear for the lives and thousands of them losing theirs, that the time to be scared to engage in one’s life is over. I became invested in politics and aware of what was going on in my government and wanted to participate in making this place better. I like to think that 9/12 was the day that I got balls in regards to my own life and began going out there and attempting to get what I wannted. And I dont mean that in a selfish or silly way, but honestly that day opened my eyes to the fact that your life can not be planned, the future can not be told and you need to make every day count.

I wanted to discuss the brilliant article Pareene contributed over at Gawker, which called out Glenn Beck and his crew for looking upon 9/12 as some sort of joyous day, where America was harmonious. It wasn’t if you lived in NYC or if you had a family member who worked in the twin towers or the pentagon or within the military. On that day you were scared of what was to come and how you could move on and no amount of sticky American flags on the back of cars and empty promises like “These colors don’t run” could take back those events. We were united, but united due to fear. Politics still reared its ugly head, the media still covered up some things and nearly 4,000 families mourned their missing loved ones. And while I found a courage that day it wasn’t because of some false harmony pumping through NYC. It was because for the first time in my entire life this country was no longer protected, meaning neither was I. It was the day that I became an adult and had to face the harsh realities of the things that surround us in our cities, states and the world. There is nothing that can erase the memory of the feeling I had in my gut that day. And there is nothing that can erase from our collective memories, but hopefully as the years pass, and we as a nation evolve, much like I did that day, we can learn to find a peace with the evils of the world and the inadequacies of our own selves.

I left that evening buzzed from the free Grolsch, excited about listening to Department of Eagles (You need to check them out if you haven’t!) and wondering about the state of music videos. I also left with a Dzama poster and excited for the next PopRally event.

What do you think of the video? Does it fit the song? Do we think Dzama found a new calling?

Last night, TMZ, of course, posted a photograph of Rihanna, which was apparently leaked to them by members of the LAPD. The picture, which yes I have seen, but will not be posting here, is a very sad one and it showcases the many bruises and lacerations allegedly given to the singer on the eve of the Grammys by her boyfriend Chris Brown.

At first, I wasn’t sure what to feel about the picture being everywhere, the near animalistic glee some bloggers and people in the media had for putting it on their site or covering it in their stories. It’s bothersome to many that an assault of this caliber could be so mishandled and that because the victim in question happens to be a celebrity they are not afforded the same rights to privacy that you and I would have if we were in a similar situation. There is a huge part of me that believes these pictures should have never been shown to the public. I mean what if she was raped? Would we find comfort in those pictures? On the other hand, seeing these pictures, viewing the damage someone did to her makes the story REAL. It no longer caps it as a celebrity gossip story and gives it merit and legs and makes us all feel like it happened to some one we know. But does the public have the right to own her pain and her embarrassment?

And on that note, in an odd way, I am glad this has come to light so I can understand what kind of person Chris Brown is. For way too many years, men were able to get away with this stuff, especially powerful men, with no repercussions. It was a symptom of America and it was overlooked. I would hope that many more powerful men in Hollywood would have the balls to come out and say “This is not okay!”. I wish that Al Sharpton was protesting this more than a chimpanzee comic run in the NY Post. I wish Russell Simmons was saying – you can not do this. And believe me, I know there is outcry from the African American community, but I wish it was on a much larger level. And because this is a broader issue and not symptomatic to just one race, I wish that women’s advocacy programs were being chatted up on TV about the incident as well, but they aren’t. I wish people had the balls to stand up and say “Women are not your punching bags. They are not here for your adornment.” We have come a long way ladies – this is for sure. I don’t want victims to be publicly lauded as spokespeople for strength unless they choose to do so. I wish she had the ability to have kept this quiet. I wish that the LAPD managed to not screw up another celebrity case and have some sort of tact when it comes to victims. And wish more than anything that she didn’t have to go through this. Unfortunately, I ain’t Jack Shepard, so my wishes will not be granted. But I hope that a positive comes out of this. If one girl, one woman steps away from a relationship that she is in where she is being abused, this picture might have just been worth it. The dialog is open and hopefully we will not longer be afraid to discuss the issues that are clouded in shame and anger.