Weaver explained that the Academy members were more excited to FINALLY give the Best Director Oscar to someone with breasts, and not Peter Jackson, that they completely forgot about the genius that is Cameron. To add more foot to her mouth, Weaver explained that, “‘Avatar’ would have won because they [Oscar voters] loved to hand out awards to big productions, like ‘Ben-Hur.’ Today it’s fashionable to give the Oscar to a small movie that nobody saw.” Why yes Sigourney, the Oscars are now the ‘Small Movies that Could’ awards as opposed to ‘Pulling in the Most Dough at the Box Office’ awards. No, I’m kidding, but Weaver isn’t. I’m all for having an opinion and expressing it, but not to the point of invalidating a landmark achievement of another professional in my industry. There are tons of reasons why Cameron lost, but mostly it can be chalked up to making the story secondary to effects. While Cameron’s Avatar will be noted as revolutionary for film making, the movie itself was NOT the best film from last year. So Sigourney, please keep your bitter brew to yourself.

Amy Talkington, who also penned the updated version of my favorite movie,Valley Girl is writing the screenplay and Mark Gordon producing. The latest version will definitely discuss the recent wars in Iraq and Afghanistan and acknowledge the importance of women within our military, but not poke fun at the men and women serving.

As I’ve said before, I’m not crazy about remakes, especially when I know there are still oodles of stories to be told. But if this is the vehicle Faris needs to make to put her into the spotlight, then I am behind it. Faris is a rare comedienne, one who is more expressive with facial gestures than anything that could ever be uttered out of her mouth. And while she has had some starring roles, like The House Bunny, nothing has come out and propelled her to the next level, which she so deserves to be. And this disservice is part of the real issue within Hollywood nowadays. Why is someone as talented as Faris not working 4 -5 times a year and turning down quality screenplays left and right? Why is Hollywood not creating star vehicles for such a talent? Where’s her Apatow? Personally, I have a screenplay I have been working on for Faris, so if by the off chance anyone even remotely affiliated with her reads this – CALL ME!(No really, call me!) But, seriously Anna Faris should be a household name, on the covers and in the theaters. Why is it taking Hollywood so long to get this? Hopefully, this does the trick.

Foxx, who will pen the screenplay, has said that he wants to retool the idea so its more in the now, and of course, urban. I mean doesn’t a Garner and Biel tag team comedy film just scream URBAN? Anyways, instead of Laverne wearing her trademark L on her sweaters, she’ll have street tough tattoo of the initial, will most likely played by Garner. SAY WHAT? Personally, Biel makes a bit more sense in the tough and tattooed girl role, but who am I? No word if Penny Marshall, Gary’s sister, who played Laverne, and Cindy Williams, better known as Shirley, will help out and make a cameo or appearance in the film. Which brings me to a more important casting question: Who will play Squiggy?

Now, I don’t want to hate on the project too much, mainly cause Gary Marshall once produced great female-centric films. And I desperately miss the days of powerful female comedy teams, like Shelly Long & Bette Midler, Lily Tomlin & Bette Midler or seriously anything in the 80′s with Bette Midler (except for Beaches), so anything that even resembles these classics is OK in my eyes. But Im just not sure I need Jamie Foxx, of all people, penning the screenplay. And while I like both Garner and Biel, I can’t help but think this sort of project just screams Amy Poehler.

Anyways, what do you think? Will Foxx do a good job? Are there a better tag team than Garner and Biel for this? Let me know in the comments below.

UPDATE: Apparently, this is no way a done deal and Foxx’s publicist has already said there is “no truth” to this. But, I’ve heard that before. The revisiting of the sitcom is still happening though, for now, so keep the comments coming on who you think should be the stars!

Ok, so you are paying attention now. Cause, I mean the rank dude from HACKERS won an Oscar folks. That can’t be undone. So then we raised hands with Mo’Nique, cause she won Best Supporting and doesn’t shave her legs and makes sexual and physical abuse look real. And then things got interesting…. well actually the Screenplay awards were given out before FISHER STEVENS WON and for Adapted Precious killed it and for Original The Hurt Locker confirmed its assault on Cameron’s career and genitals. Woohah (as blind Pacino would say). Ok so back to the awards we cared about. Best actor went to my first crush, Jeff Bridges, who repeated the same speech Ive heard since the Golden Globes, but still thanked his wife and kids and stand-in. LOVE IT. Also, he’s been doing various The Big Lebowski quotes and I will heart that forever.

Sandra Bullock won Best Actress for The Blind Side. I aint seen it, and I probably wont, but I am OK with her getting an award because she is pretty rad. She also looked beyond beautiful tonight, which cemented her win. Her mom was an opera singer in Germany and she had gum on her seat while Dennis Hopper was trying to blow her and the coach of Sparkle Motion up! Bullock deserved it as much, if more, as squinty eyed Zelleweger, frozen-face Kidman and hotties Berry & Theron – SO LETS MOVE ON.
And then the big one came. Since Barbra Streisand came out to deliver the Oscar for Best Director, I knew this was going to Kathryn Bigelow. ON A SERIOUS NOTE. I cried. I cried in a room with my mom and soon to be mom-in-law and felt what i feels like to wait for fucking evah for an award. Bigelow has been able to do what both men and women havent before her, deliver an action move with heart. And she has succeeded with it. She deserved it. And please don’t forget it.
Her acceptance speech thanked the powers that be that made the movie happen, as well as the troops that give up their lives and safety for us every day. So it was fitting that Tom Hanks ran up on stage and gave the award for Best Picture to The Hurt Locker. For its story, drama and feel, this move deserved to win. And I cant think of a better way to ringing in a monumental moment like this, with anyone else in the room.

More on the dresses, awards and whats to come tomorrow, but until then, thanks to Barbra, Bigelow, McDaniel and the rest of you amazing women, who have given me even a morsel of thinking this industry could welcome us with open arms. You made dreams official tonight. There are girls who will not question their motives, their love of cinema and will continue to provide America and the world with entertainment and dreams and comedy and fantasy and horror and anything that will make you forget your real life for 2 and a half hours.

Here’s the full list of the winners and we’ll check in with you tomorrow when the Pinot has wore off. I will get to the John Hughes/comedy respective tomorrow too. This needs my full non-snark attention.

And speaking of “The Hangover”, the folks over at Pajiba think it can be thanked for getting production on “The Bachelorette Party” back on track. Anna Faris and Jennifer Garner are set to star in the romantic comedy with an edge that centers around two opposite cousins and their attempt to forget one of them getting ditched at the altar with the other one getting a raunchy send off to single life with a crazy bachelorette party. Hijinx and indiscretions are of course to follow and the relationship between the two women will be tested. Not sure which actress will play what part, but Im assuming Faris will find herself ditsy and crazy, with Garner being the typical a-type. And hopefully this will not be anything like “Bride Wars”, because let’s face it we deserve better!